Category: online interaction

Death has continued to show up in our online interactions. It still seems prudent to consider how you not only manage your social media and online information while you are alive, but what happens to it after you die. Well, maybe all that free storage will disappear and this will only be an issue for those who host their own domain, and I suspect when payments stop, things will disappear. Maybe having our ephemera evaporate is a good thing… What do you think? Since the Forbes article linked below came out in 2013, I have had to manage the social media of my Mom, who passed away four + years ago. I realized I had a very mixed relationship with her social media. I saw all her emails, what kind of junk email she was targeted with, what ads Facebook served to her. I saw she did not know how to unsubscribe or block things that were irrelevant to her. I also saw how important social media was to a woman alone in her 80’s.

It reminded me of when my Dad died in 2010 and I would read his emails and feel both more loss, and feel closer. I got to read about his old-timey music community, see the last remnants of his and my mom’s RV and Miata adventure days. It took me about 2 years to stop reading and to unsubscribe and eventually let his account go. While cleaning the basement after a flood in January, I found his hard drives which I had held on to. They finally went to e-cycling a couple of weeks ago. I never looked at the content.

Mom’s Gmail, Yahoo and Facebook accounts are still active and I have all the passwords and permissions. I’ve turned off all alerts and don’t look very often. A couple of weeks ago I thought I was ready to delete the accounts, but I just couldn’t do it. What if one of her old friends didn’t know she had died and tried to get in touch?

Managing the social media of loved ones after death is not just a technical, mechanical set of practices. It is part of how we mourn and grieve these days, how we hold on or let go.

A question that used to come up when I facilitated many online communities was how to handle the death of a member. There are many layers to this which we struggled to navigate back in the good old early days of online communities. Since then, people have come up with many useful and thoughtful approaches. Now Google stands ready to help you with all your Google accounts — not to manage the human side, but how to deal with our digital detritus. Very interesting!
Will You Use Google’s Death Manager To Let Loved Ones Read Your Email When You Die? – Forbes.