37days & Jim Benson: Some Us/Them Advice
Time for more musings on how we are or are not able to communicate with each other online and off. Via the terrific 37days blog comes Aim for horizons, more "rules o f thumb" that we can use when we try and productively engage each other in a world where "us and them" is the norm. Play life like it is an infinite, not a finite game. Play to learn, not to win. Play to keep the game going, not end it. Aim for Technicolor, not black and white.
That last bit is really useful. It is a larger version of "don't email in anger," and reminds me of a post from Jim Benson a couple of days ago. I've been chewing on it, wanting to point to it and when I read the 37 Days post, things clicked. Jim comes at the same thing from a slightly different perspective.
Learn to talk across difference, to make differences discussable in order to make them usable and learn-from-able--it's tough to do that from a polarized position.
Resist the temptation of simply pretending that the other is wrong.
Aim for horizons, not boundaries.
In his post The Odor of Vitriol Jim reflects on the by product of our personal venting. Blogging can be a great place to vent, right? But what are the consequences? Jim writes: This is why I don't blog angry. It's my number one rule. Don't e-mail or blog angry. In fact, we should probably rarely do anything angry. But especially blogging and e-mail because they have a nasty permanence. People judge you at your worst. The occasional momentary lapse of reason can have lasting repercussions. My professional and personal lives can certainly count a variety of major gaffes on my part - the odor of which lingers long for many people. Clearing the air for those may never be complete.
As we leave our electronic traces around the globe, our venting, our anger, our inability to sometimes see past our own noses, takes on a life beyond the moment. If we aimed for the horizon, we might act a bit more wisely.
Tags: usthem, conflict
posted by Nancy White at 10:32 PM
2 Comments:
Wow, Nancy - how do find the time to access and post all these great links? I can always guarantee finding something of interest when I visit Full Circle.
I will link this back to my blog when I get a more substantial moment!
Keep up the good work.
Thanks Jane - and I've been enjoying your blog as well. How do I find time? I do this instead of watching TV at night. (Lately instead of reading books too, which is not so good!) It is so enjoyable that I just do it!
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