Empathy Flowing in Many Directions

A friend shared a New York Times opinion piece by Kaitlyn Greenidge yesterday that really planted a seed in my brain. First of all, read the piece. Especially if you are a white woman, as am I. It is a tangible, down to earth example to help us understand white privilege. And that is work I am/need to be doing continually. It is an ever changing path; a rocky shoreline.

So when we as black girls read most books, we have to will ourselves into the bodies on the page, with a selectivity and an internal edit that white readers of the same canon do not necessarily have to exercise.

“So what?” one might think. Isn’t reading fiction an exercise in empathy?

But empathy for whom, and for what higher purpose, always complicates this supposedly benevolent action. Is empathy really empathy if it’s generally asked to flow in only one direction? Under those circumstances, empathy looks less like identifying with the other and more like emotional hegemony. – by Kaitlyn Greenidge, NYTimes, 1/13/2020.

The quote I pulled above was useful for me today both professionally and personally. As a group process geek in my work, I’ve always sought to cultivate empathy in any group. Ms. Greenidge helped me see that empathy might also be oppression. Is it right to claim empathy with another when we clearly don’t understand, see or acknowledge their world view and experience?

Though it’s examination of the Greta Gerwig movie version of Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women” as viewed by women of color, Ms. Greenidge helps me raise some new questions for myself when working with people coming from different contexts.

When designing and facilitating group process, how are we discovering and staying conscious of our filters that may, if left unchecked, render even empathy as a deficit because it is “emotional hegemony?” Here are three starting points for me today.

  1. What values, myths or traditions of my own am I consciously or unconsciously calling on to frame group process?
  2. How am I broadening the range of values, myths and traditions I include to reflect the seen and potentially unseen contexts of people in the group?
  3. How does my language reflect my unconscious frames (and thus biases) and who can I call upon to help me by listening to my patterns and challenge them. Ideally, not asking a person of color to do this. This is not their job!

What recommendations do you have so that when we utilize our empathy, we are not inadvertently rendering it as a weapon? How do we find our path?

Developing a Shared Meeting Agenda

A colleague asked me today about how I work with teams who need to develop meeting agendas – hopefully together. As a facilitator, I’m particularly interested not simply doing this FOR a client, but building the capacity for them to do it.

Most facilitators have some version of this process. It is neither innovative nor unique. But for me it has been useful. Today’s request reminded me it might be helpful to share my process here on my (too) sleepy blog.

Below you can skim the process and see a template you can copy in Google Drive to try it yourself! Screen shot below just to spice things up a bit!

  1. Agree on tangible meeting outcome(s) together. Often I jump start this by asking “by the end of this meeting we want people to think, feel, know and do next…” Get those on the table, prioritized if necessary. Trim down to reality check after the first draft and once drafted, ensure agenda meets these outcomes. It is amazing how often there is not a match! I typically do this on a phone call with the planning team, and work through steps 1 and 2 of this process.
  2. Design first draft of agenda together. I use a table with the following columns: Time (from x to Y), Description/Purpose (what we want out of this agenda item), Process (how we will do it – more on that in a second) and Notes which includes who leads, who is responsible for any artifacts, etc). I like to do this in a collaborative editing space, NOT IN A CIRCULATING Word doc. I set it up before the planning call and share the URL. This online co-editing is not always an accepted practice, but it makes the process visible and participation (or lack of it) apparent. This visibility is critical in moving from us as consultants or leaders doing the work for them, to us coaching, to us being on call only as needed. It is very helpful when there are at least two members rather than one designing (yay co-chairs). They can use their unique talents together and it also is less risky for them individually.
  3. Review the agenda with a lens that reflects the values and principles of the group. Note, there is an assumption that a group has these. If not, this might be part of the step 1 conversation. This step does NOT mean we will have designed specific agenda items FOR these principles, but have chosen processes for the work agenda that leverage these things. One lens I frequently use comes from a Communities of Practice (CoP) perspective. It reflects the three parts of a CoP: community, domain and practice. When reviewing the agenda together we ask:
    • Is there something in this meeting that allows people to get to know/trust/enjoy each other better (community)? This supports the subsequent actions/follow up.
    • Is there something that deepens their domain understanding (domain)? This gives each individual some of their own professional development while participating in a meeting. Value in meetings should accrue in all directions if possible.
    • Does each person have a chance to practice what they need to do to execute going forward?
  4. Reality check against time/resources. Review and simplify where ever possible. I tend to make everything more complicated than it needs to be on first pass. This is where things tighten down.

With some groups there is not a widespread skill set of understanding their process options, how to mix and match them, etc. Good news – a friend and I are running a two day “Liberating Structures Immersion Summer Camp” in July down at Dumas Retreat Center here in Western Washington to teach this stuff. Leave me a note in the comments and I will let you know when the details are released.

Most meeting planning I’m involved in happens in an online video conference room (like Zoom) where we can screen share, see each other and take notes together. Phone is a distant second best. Most people cannot afford the time to do the planning F2F.

In a good working context, one person sketches out the first draft and invites people to review. We have our online meeting to discuss the outcomes, principles and draft. A DIFFERENT PERSON does the second draft with asynchronous online comments. The next online meeting is to prepare execution of meeting. If artifacts need drafting (slides, handouts, share background readings or data) we link those into the agenda so all materials are easily accessed and, where appropriate, shared.

Here is one more tip. While the facilitators’ agenda can be as detailed as you want, only send a summary agenda to participants UNLESS you are trying to build everyone’s meeting facilitation practices. I typically only put general times to avoid the “oh, I can slip out and take my phone call during this agenda item because it doesn’t matter to me.” Uh, no, our goal is that the entire agenda matters to you. If it doesn’t, we are failing.

Criticisms and Cures around Liberating Structures

Last year I was inspired to mimic a cool format, criticisms and cures, on the topic of facilitating in complex contexts. I have found myself recently in conversations with people who can’t see the value of using Liberating Structures (LS), of engaging in immersions or communities of LS practitioners for people in NGOs, international development organizations and other cause related groups. There seem to be some unique barriers – and I’m not sure I have them right, so school me in the comments. But there seems to be some unique challenges in the NGO sector that I think are related to the diversity and complexity of the sector, and that creepy crawly sense of scarcity that comes into play. There are other sectors, like the Agile Programming world, who have adopted LS quickly – perhaps because LS gives with Agile philosophy and practices where are pretty specific. There is little such shared philosophy or practice in the NGO world. So I thought I’d try a C&C around this topic. (P.S. if you don’t know what Liberating Structures are, watch this little video!)

P.S. If you are interested in joining me in a Liberating Structures immersion in Atlanta, Georgia, USA September 18-19 check out
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/liberating-structures-immersion-workshop-atlanta-tickets-62928099640

PS. If you are interested in LS in Europe, join the Liberating Structures Learning Festival in The Hague, Netherlands, October 7-9, go to
https://liberatingstructures.eu/the-hague-ls-festival/

Impromptu Networking

Criticism: Why should I go to a Liberating Structures Immersion workshop. I already know how to facilitate?

Cure:  LS is not simply about facilitating. It is about essentially stripping down our group interaction practices to the bare bones to better understand how to unleash and engage everyone. It is about finding that space between over and under-control. It is about getting real work done, not just using clever techniques to keep people amused. If we have a practice that can help us diagnose and design for real needs, that is worth the time invested. Besides, once you get the hang of LS, you can design meetings in half the time as traditional approaches – or less. Even better, as you role model using LS, others will adopt it, so this is about behavior change in a system, not just one person learning something new.

25/10 Crowd Sourcing

Criticism: Liberating Structures takes away all of my control.

Cure:  Yes, and that is bad because? Group process is not about our control as leaders or facilitators or whatever. It is about getting stuff done together. So instead of framing in terms of control, focus on the purpose of the gathering and create the space (using the LS) to enable people to get that work done. Is there a risk? Compare it to having an awful meeting and getting nothing done, and that risk grows very small. This may be a great moment to reflect on our need for control and how that negatively impacts groups. Think about it. Do YOU like being controlled? And by the way, it will most likely be more enjoyable and the next time you invite people to a meeting, they may be happier saying “yes.”

Additionally, in NGO work we are often stating our values to be participatory, and led by those we are working with, not leading them. I don’t know about you, but I’ve found there are some bad habits I keep having to break around what I think is right, how I think things should be done. LS help me from falling back into those old patterns by using just the right amount of STRUCTURE, as opposed to keeping CONTROL.

Criticism: Meetings are fundamentally a waste of time. I don’t need to learn how to design and run better meetings, I just need to get rid of all of them.

Cure:  Purpose. The meetings you may have been forced to attend or lead may have been worthless. If you are in a very hierarchical and/or large organization, you may be suffering from bad meetings. By all means, stop those.

Next, think about what do people need to do with each other to meet organizational goals? How much clarity can you generate around purpose? Don’t confuse purpose with an agenda. Purpose is the reason to meet. If there is no purpose, don’t meet. If purpose is unclear, then there is a reason to meet. If purpose is clear, then an LS-infused gathering can convert that purpose from idea, assessment, action and first steps. There are six questions that have emerged from the LS community that are really helping me think about meeting (or project, or strategy) purpose.

  1. What is the purpose of our work? (What are we “making,” for whom and how do we know it is of value.)
  2. What is happening around us that demands change in our work? (If nothing, well go have a coffee and congratulations!
  3. What are the challenges and wicked dualities we are facing to do our work?
  4. Where are we starting, honestly?
  5. Based on what we now know, what is made possible?
  6. What are our first steps in those possibilities and how will we know we are making progress?

When groups can seriously consider and answer these questions, tapping into each person’s perspective and knowledge, much more becomes possible. This can be framed from the perspective of a status update or retrospective, all the way to the launch of a major initiative (with tweaking of the questions, of course!)

Criticism: As an NGO or international development organization, we don’t have the luxury of going to capacity building workshops. We are too busy address others’ capacity building needs.

Cure:  Calculate how much time is wasted in boring, unproductive, inappropriate meetings and group interactions. Query what you know about good adult learning. How are you applying that to the capacity building you are doing? If you don’t cultivate your own capacity, how can you do that for others? If money is an issue, ask for a scholarship. The worse thing you can hear is no. The best thing might just be a yes. You are WORTH it!

The 2 of 1-2-4-All

Criticism: People are getting totally annoyed with me breaking them down into groups, doing 1-2-4-All and all that. Come on!

Cure: I have struggled with this and what is dawning on me and others is that there are some essential interaction patterns or microstructures in LS that need repeat practice until they become habitual. We have a lot of things we have habituated in our meeting practices – we are just not very aware of them. These basic structures, once cultivated and practiced, become automatic instead of feeling like they are imposed upon us. Read this useful post on Medium.

Ecocycle

Criticism: Complexity is a buzzword or indicates a mess so big we can’t deal with it. I’m done with complexity.

Cure:  Go back and read this blog post!

Interested in a Liberating Structures Learning Opportunities?

There is a LOT going on, both face to face and online. Check this out from the recent Liberating Structures network (And P.S, I’m co-leading the Atlanta (September 18-19) immersion!):

Come join us in Slack to share your stories of triumph, tragedy, comedy, and drama. You can catch up on the latest developments across the network by tuning into the #liberatingstructures Twitter hashtag, joining the #communitywritings channel on Slack, visiting the LS group on LinkedIn, or participating in an upcoming learning event like the European Regional Gathering this August.

Many of the innovations in LS practice get shared, transmitted, deconstructed, and assembled in the various learning spaces being created by practitioners of all stripes. Here are some upcoming places where you can renew your own practice, gently introduce others to using LS, and draw out an exploration of your questions, curiosities, and challenges:

EU Learning Gathering (Hamburg, August 8th & 9th)


Immersion Workshops:
Unless specified, workshops are led in English

Belo Horizonte – Portuguese (August 12 & 13)
Lima with Keith McCandless – Spanglish (August 16-17)
Buenos Aires with Keith McCandless – Spanglish (August 20-21)
Santiago with Keith McCandless – Spanglish (August 23-24)
Rio de Janeiro – Portuguese (August 26-27)
Sao Paulo – Portuguese (September 16-17)
Sao Paulo – Portuguese (September 19-20)
Atlanta (September 18-19)
Montreal (September 28-29)
The Hague (October 7-9)
Hamburg – German (October 14-15)
Sao Paulo – Portuguese (October 14-15)
Sao Paulo – Portuguese (October 17-18)
Munich (October 16-18)
Malmo (October 23 – 25)
Terrace, BC (October 24)
London (October 29 – 30)
Vancouver (November 7-8)
Paris with Henri Lipmanowicz – French (November 14-15)
Amsterdam (November 19-21)
El Paso with Keith, Henri, and Arvind (November 22-24)
Austin, Texas (December 3-5)
Hamburg – in German (January 13-14)

Special Topic Sessions:
Strategy Knotworking in Amsterdam (October 14)
Navigating Conflict in Teams with LS in Amsterdam (November 22)

Virtual Sessions:
Strategy Knotworkers (join the #knotworking channel on Slack)
Using LS Virtually Community of Practice (join the #virtual channel on Slack)
Portuguese Community of Practice – Portuguese (contact Fernando Loureiro for more details)


Liberating Structures Immersion in ATL September 18-19

Tired of unproductive meetings, stifling hierarchy, exclusion, mistrust and disengaged people? It’s time to jump into Liberating Structures for your life and work. To instigate more of this fun,  I’m heading South! Nadine Doyle and Robin Muretisch and I (and who knows, maybe some special practitioner guests if they can be convinced!) are hosting a two day Liberating Structures Immersion Workshop in Atlanta, September 18-19. You can find all the details here.   

What are you TALKING about?

Liberating Structures are simple shifts in the methods we use to bring people together to talk, think and solve problems together. With a click you will see I’ve been practicing and writing about them for some time now! Game changer? YES! Spreadable? YES! That means YOU can do them. 

What to Expect?

You’ll gain hands-on experience of Liberating Structures, a field-tested, results-focused collection of engagement structures which include everyone in shaping the future.  

Who is this for?

Anyone who is in or host meetings, teams, groups, even engaging and unleashing positive energy in your own family. Robin and Nadine have a special interest in Lean and Design Thinking so will connect some dots in that domain. Here is what they offer:

Are you a Lead or Design Thinking practitioner? Learn how integrating Liberating Structures (LS) into your work can take you to the next level! Lean practitioners see LS as relational coordination that complements more technical process improvement and value-stream mapping activities. Design Thinking gurus find that LS helps non-designers participate more fully in ethnographic observations and prototyping efforts.  

From me, expect the unexpected. I’m always interested in a twist! And, of course, chocolate! I’m really looking forward to hanging out in the ATL!