A Response to Seth’s field guide to the Meeting Troll

Lotus of conversationAh Seth, we know the troll of which you speaketh in your blog post,  Seth’s Blog: A field guide to the Meeting Troll.

In response, here are the people I want to invite into the circle. (See, I even avoided the word “meeting” as we have so many coded “dirty words!”)

Come into the circle with me.

  1. You are curious. “Not knowing” is an asset, not a deficit. You ask AMAZING questions.
  2. You are playful. Risk taking is in your repertoire.
  3. You love creating opportunity for yourself and others. Love is an operational word here…
  4. You love solving wicked problems… I can see the glee on your face.
  5. You bring and SHARE your chocolate (oranges, carrot sticks, croissants, coffee, etc.)
  6. You create space, not only fill it.When you occupy space, it is always with genuine presence and  contribution.
  7. You don’t hide behind your words. Or your positional power.
  8. You explain your acronyms (this is important to me– I work in international development!)
  9. Failure is a learning opportunity for you. You help me mine the learning from my failures. You seek multiple perspectives to learn from your failures.
  10. You discern when something is simple and when it is complex and act accordingly. This includes knowing when to STOP doing something.
  11. You are not fearless, but you do not shy away from fear.
  12. You trust me. I trust you. We know how to honor and forgive.

Eugene Eric Kim on What I Call “Community Indicators”

Community indicators are everywhere, including embedded in how we design and participate in our online spaces. Read the whole blog post, ok?

Creating delightful, inviting spaces is simple, but not easy. Unfortunately, we often make it unnecessarily complicated. I don’t expect most workspaces to have wide open, reconfigurable spaces with natural light on two sides and moveable whitewalls and furniture. But why can’t all workspaces have signs like this? How many actually do?

via Eugene Eric Kim » Three Simple Hacks for Making Delightful Virtual Spaces.

I love the word “delightful!” Thanks, Eugene! (And Katie, the community person at the Standford D School!)

Community Indicators: Thank Yous

From a Facebook post the students in Eric Tsui’s class at Hong Kong Polytechnic sent me this amazing thank you note. (Paper version, I’m told, is on the way!) Now THIS is a great community indicator. I get up early and late to deliver online webinar guest presentations. Rarely do you get this kind of feedback. I love it. Click the images to see more detail! Thank Eric and to all in your class. I’m smiling in Seattle.

HongKongPolyUThankyou Thankyou2

 

Roland Harwood on Tapping Each Other to Solve Our Problems

nancy and charles chatting
nancy and charles tapping into each other

Via Johnnie Moore (thanks!) comes something that is remarkably akin to the Liberating Structures approach I’ve been diving into deeply.

2 degrees of separation – 100%Open.

And so recently, we’ve prototyped an exercise at various workshops and events called ’2 degrees of separation’ that has worked so remarkably well that a) I wanted to share it and b) see if anybody can help prove exactly how it works. The way we have run it to date is as follows:

In a room of at least 30 people, ask everybody to think of a project or problem they are working on right now where what would really help them is to be introduced to a specific person or organisation.
Invite people to then take it in turns to shout out the name of who they are trying to reach, and also to briefly introduce themselves (if necessary) and why they want this introduction.
Ask the whole group if anybody knows that person or organisation directly, or might know how to reach them, and if so to raise their hands.
If so, just point them out to each other so they can chat afterwards and repeat the process a few times.
We’ve now done this exercise 3 or 4 times with group sizes varying from about 30 to nearly 100 and every single time we’ve been able to make a productive connection. And whilst I thought it would probably work I am struck how well it has worked so far.

Feedback to Amplify vs. to Recognize

Creative Commons from the wonderful Roland Tanglao via Flickr

The title of the article, Talent Isn’t Fixed and Other Mindsets That Lead to Greatness, drew me in. Here is the opening paragraph.

According to Stanford University’s Carol Dweck, the psychologist behind the much-praised book Mindset: The New Psychology for Success, the attitude that we bring to our creative work—and to mentoring our juniors—can play a huge role in shaping just how much of our inborn talents we realize.

One of the most important things that I think I offer the individuals and groups I work with is to notice their contribution, their creativity, passion, persistence –> whatever the quality. The article calls this people’s “inborn talents.” I think it is more than inborn, but I won’t quibble…

I call my role or function “holding up a mirror.”  Helping people see for themselves their power and agency. But that is an oversimplification. So it seems useful to consider how we give feedback — it matters. Take a look at some wise words from Stanford University’s Carol Dweck.

Could you give me an example of how that language would actually play out if I were giving someone feedback?

A fixed mindset approach would be saying something like: “This project turned out amazing. You’re a genius. I knew you had the talent. This is proof of it.” As opposed to a growth mindset approach of, “Wow, this project turned out fantastically well. I loved the way you mobilized the team, the way you kept everyone focused, the way you brought it to fruition, the way you made everybody feel the ownership.” These are things you can replicate and that you should replicate the next time. Whereas, when I say, “You’re a genius!”…how do you reproduce that over and over?

And what about when you need to give someone criticism? Or point out an area that needs work?

As I mentioned, when you are giving criticism, you need to carefully critique the process someone engaged in and discuss what skills they need to learn and improve.

But I’ve also fallen in love with a new word—“yet.” You can say to someone who fell short: “You don’t seem to have this,” but then add the word “yet.” As in, “You don’t seem to have these skills…yet.” By doing that, we give people a time perspective. It creates the idea of learning over time. It puts the other person on that learning curve and says, “Well, maybe you’re not at the finish line but you’re on that learning curve and let’s go further.” It’s such a growth mindset word.

The “yet” thing is interesting and it reminds me of the power of “Yes, And,” from improv. Interesting that searching for a link took me back to the 99U site! Look at this. It both cases, I don’t think the feedback is limited ONLY to specific feedback — I really liked what Dweck said in response to the first question. But also having some lack of clarity also leads to possibility. Thus Roland’s fuzzy mirror photo inspired my thinking a bit more. Clarity on feedback, and possibility going forward. How’s that? How do you give feedback?

Photo from my friend Roland Tanglao.