From the Archives: Alone, Together, Silent, Vocal, Collaborative

Image of a piece of paper with "freedom and responsibility" written on it
freedom and responsibility

Ah, 2017, such a quaint time when we still used Adobe Connect. 🙂 It was a pleasure to go back and re-read Jenny Mackness’ post, The power of silent learners | Jenny Connected.

While the post and the webinar it reflects upon focus on learning/education contexts, there is a lot we can extrapolate to today’s mix of online and F2F. It is always good to remind me, a person who thinks by talking (which is not just being an extrovert!), that people experience the world in different ways and we can use that diversity and design for it, or try to put it in a box. NOT!

The post gives a detailed report on the webinar Jenny attended, and why she liked it. What I like about her post is this question:

The main thought I have come away with is to question whether it helps silent learners to focus on them in this way. Jan Willem felt it does, because he feels that there is not enough recognition of what silent learners can offer. For me the danger is that in doing this we may reinforce the view that somehow silent learners are a problem and that we need to solve this problem by enabling them, empowering them, to become a bit noisier. Personally, I don’t think that learners can be empowered by others. They empower themselves, although they can be supported in doing this.

I appreciate Jenny’s observation. The more we try and HELP people, the more we risk actually diminishing them. 

It appears that the day I saved the URL to Jenny’s post, I also saw something from Fast Company that suggests we avoid the binaries of alone/together, introvert/extroverts and use a pattern of small/large group alternation. 

“The way to maximize creative potential is to flow between being alone and being in a group, and back again.”

This resonates with my approach to group facilitation and is, indeed, part of the fundamental patterns of approaches such as Liberating Structures. As noted in a previous post, this allows for nuance and context. 

Jumping Off Points for Deeper Nuance

Nuance is everything. I saw a very sweet 2×2 from Amy Edmondson while I was taking one of my rare peeks at Twitter. At first glance my reaction was “cool!”

Then the term psychological safety caught my eye because I have been wary of the term. Safety on whose terms? For whom? I have become cautious as I’ve increasingly realized that I have projected my sense of safety on others who have NOT experienced psychological safety at all in the “shared context.”

Here is the tweet, then some comments below.

Amy, I have penned this without reaching out to you to talk about it. If that would be helpful in any way, let me know. I understand that psychological safety is a core of your work, and that my knowledge in this area is experiential and probably peripheral. I have learned a lot from your work over the years. The observations and wonderings I offer here are mostly directed at myself along my learning path.

What I appreciated about Amy’s post is the recognition that learning (or doing, etc.) require us to being open to being challenged, that we need positive, creative abrasion to bring our best to a challenge. It was what she proposed as supporting that state that left me uneasy: the idea of lowering standards, and the perceptions (reality) of being wrapped in cotton wool. The words “apathy,” “anxiety” and “comfort” taking on what sort of judgement? Whose standards are we talking about? Whose perception of who is getting wrapped in cotton wool?

What in this 2X2 honors the individual humans, their identities, as well as the output of a team? What helps the group reveal what is working and what must change to get to “learning.” What values and lived experiences are behind the generalizations?

I am bothered that apathy is the term for “showing up with our hearts and minds elsewhere, choosing self protection over exertion.” At some point, how much do you ignore and when do you choose to self-protect? How is, for example, self protection against racism, ableism and sexism evidence of low performance standards? How much is this the individuals lack of psychological safety and how much is it evidence of an oppressive system? How are self- protection and exertion actually related?

If this were a self reflection tool, a nuance might be “how am I protecting myself through disengagement?” What is causing my disengagement? Who is causing it? What power do I have to change it? Example: how does this land for a woman of color in a male dominated tech meeting who is constantly disrespected or ignored. For a person in the room who is the only person doing primary care giving for a loved one and has a lot on both work and home lines and may appear distracted? For the person with no power in the group? For some, this may be the ongoing experience of white supremacy.

I realize here I may be conflating apathy with anxiety. Thus the simplification continues to break down my understanding… Who knows when most perceived apathy is actually expression of anxiety?

Then to Comfort Zone – what if this was Respect Zone? If we had sufficient understanding of ourselves and each other, then challenging the ideas going into the work or learning itself can be experienced in the space where assumptions about the individual are not subtext for the presence or absence of respect.

So how does the 2×2 help us understand and best choose our approaches and actions? How does it move beyond stereotype or generalization? NUANCE!

If the use of the 2×2 is a reflection by a manager on a member of the team or of the team as a whole, it could feel like judgement, unconscious or conscious bias or even harassment to team members. Or it could be the starting point of asking a new type of question to learn more, understand more deeply rather than judge about people’s experiences and behaviors.

If this is a starting point to reflect as a team about how we all can show up and explore what changes might be useful to the group, how do we do it without perpetuating more oppression and misunderstanding along the way? And if it is for the latter, how could the quadrants be more generative and less judgmental?

Even as I write this I think, whoa, there is so much going on here. How would I represent it in a different way? If we all stood on the same ground, we were homogeneous, shared values (and probably biases), it probably could be done. But in the diverse world we live in, a 2×2 won’t do it.

We could reexamine it from a different 2×2 approach like “Critical Uncertainties” and look at a pair of variables that are important to our work/learning and are out of our direct control. Then we could see what options we could take to get to the “Learning Quadrant” depending on how those variables played out. We would expose our assumptions and uncertainties rather than judge and compartmentalize. I am sketching something now to see if this idea might bear fruit. (Future post! Right now I’m still brainstorming the uncertainties)

So far I have been throwing my own wild generalizations. Probably not helpful. Eugene Eric Kim replied to my Tweet asking for an example of nuance that gets lost in this type of matrix. Good ask, Eugene, as always. Here goes. And I have not written here in my blog about working on my own racism and white supremacy, but that work informs this post – and I recognize I’m still learning and may not get this “right.” I also recognize I can take that risk. Ironic.

As a person who has in the past unconsciously facilitated the loss of nuance, particularly in terms of my privilege as a white person in the US (and even abroad), I will give an example on myself.

I prioritized my world view as a feminist and offered a suggestion to a woman of color with whom I was cofacilitating. We were talking about how men often ignored what women said in meetings. I suggested that mixing high status language with low status body language helped to get men to pay attention to the issue I was putting on the table, instead of being ignored. Some of this was classic self-effacement moves, use of humor to put the men at ease rather than feel intimidated by me.

Turns out this mixing of high/low status is a classic move in the Improv world. Turns out I have been unconsciously using this much of my professional life. AND it turns out it doesn’t work for everyone, particularly if they are the “other” in the room. What creates psychological safety for me may not for you.

My co-facilitator immediately shared that if she used the status mix, she would lose even more credibility as a woman of color. How she talked, how she dressed –everything was always being judged through the lens of the (mostly white) men in the room. So taking a risk with this mixed status approach could actually lower her status. This is not psychological safety from any point of view. While my use of it may launch me into that mythical upper right quadrant of the matrix, Learning, it may move someone else to feeling apathy or anxiety. My using such an approach as a facilitator, let alone as a participant, can (and has) done damage. What worked great for me, didn’t work for her. (By the way, this was a startlingly wonderful learning moment that came from my colleagues generosity and I still feel it cost her a lot to even engage with me about it that has NOTHING to do with apathy or anxiety. My learning cost her labor.)

The nuance of how we understand these quadrants, these words, let alone what psychological safety means and feels like for people different from us, is essential. Boiling it down looks cool. But without nuance, it could be damaging. (Just look at the figured in the image. They might be perceived as white males…)

From the Archives: Boundaries, Edges and Other Yummy Things

It was super fun to come back and revisit a fine post from Curtis Ogden, Boundaries as Useful Fictions? : Interaction Institute for Social Change. In fact I referenced two quotes from his piece as a panel member for Incite Forum‘s event on taking a step out from work. So I get to use an OLD reference for a NEW post. Sweet. I figured at some point this messing about in my archives would stimulate something like this!

Piers Bocock invited me to join Waahida Tolbert-Mbatha, founder of Kgololo Academy and Chris Proulx of Humentum to talk about our individual experiments on taking time off work (a.k.a. sabbatical, stepping back, sort of retiring, etc.) For background from each of us Piers asked us to write short blog posts (Nancy’s Blog, Chris’s Blog, Waahida’s Blog)

Waahida started us off nailing all of the essential elements for me: how our identities are so wrapped up in our work, how work we love can blind us to the toll it is taking on us/our families, and all the values and expectations we and others put on us – real or imagined. Later in the conversation, her observation about the importance of always developing our successors, and the role of trust IN those folks, resonated to my organizational past experiences and those I see in my clients.

Chris came from the space of mindfulness as a response to this need to take a break and step back. I was struck by him telling the story of going for a three week silent retreat and returning still exhausted, anxious that he was not ready to return from his six week sabbatical (which is supported with company policy at his workplace, Humentum). He reflected that it was probably that retreat that allowed his body to process the burn out and that processing itself takes energy.

Since Waahida hit all the core issues for me, I twisted a bit and used Curtis’ musings on boundaries to frame my story of stepping back. There were two quotes that really illuminated the larger issues of our relationship to work. First was from Buckminster Fuller “You have to remember, every boundary is a useful bit of fiction.” Oh yeah. My workaholism was often a useful bit of fiction. The so called separation of work and the rest of our lives — fiction. Our preached values about work ethics in organizations and within ourselves as boundaries — fiction.

The second quote Curtis included in his post was from the Swiss Social Scientist, Werner Ulrich. “…boundaries and divisions are an expression of what people see and value from their particular perspective.” This immediately had me think of the boundaries created by organizational silos and roles. (See this great reflection from Harold Jarche on Super Connectors — those who work across boundaries). These boundaries both create useful limits and suffocating or even rotting constraints. It also harkened back to Waahida’s comments on trust.

I realize I had put together my little list of tips but never shared it explicitly:

  • Plan financially as best you can to have a cushion to afford a break – right from the start. This is particularly salient in our consumer culture where we save to buy things. We can also save to be and do.
  • Listen for the signals of burnout before the flame out.
  • For independents, if we fear disappearing while taking a break, work with a partner(s) to support each other through rest periods. Reflect and write a bit to keep visible. We aren’t dead. We are taking a break so we can stay ALIVE!
  • Talk about sabbaticals to young professionals. This is not just something for us geezers. How younger generations view work is different. What are the implications?
  • If you are in an organization, make infrastructure changes. Policies and values drive a lot of the fear that in turn drives this myth that if I work longer, it is better. If I can claim more ticks on my to do list, that I am better. By the way, this is killing people who are also carers for their family members, across all generations. There are gender and racial implications that cannot be ignored, especially when policy and role modeling often comes from the privileged top of the org.

Finally, in the q&a phase Tony Brown asked about actualizing some of the insights about valuing taking breaks (and taking care.) I mean, we all loved talking about this. Sure, we are the converted. No one else has time to talk about taking time off!! We might consider tools and simple actions as the way in.

The Liberating Structure Ecocycle came to mind. I’ve been really enjoying using and seeing it used as a personal reflection tool. If we looked at our individual work portfolios, we might notice if and where we are getting out of balance, if there are things we are doing that no longer add value, or things that would add value but we can’t seem to slip into doing them. With this insight, we can more consciously make adjustments, ask for support or change. We could then add the layers in the department, division and organizational level to see how healthy our work practices are, where things add or do not add value and first steps to make needed changes. (A Panarchy view).

Update Tuesday morning – I was reading Patti Digh’s newsletter (look for the subscription link near the top of this page – always good stuff) and followed the link to this post on Mic Crenshaw. Great food for thought about how we choose/are forced to spend our time and how we can be present while we spend that time. It fit with the post above for me. For you?

From the Archives: 5 Things I Learned Reading/Commenting on the Moxie Project

I’m not sure why I never posted this. I regret not sharing this with the students in my role as their blog commenter. The last post on the Project Moxie site is 2020. I was a commenter in 2013. How often do we get to cross over our silos of age, space and domain and reflect together? 

———————

First, a rather long preamble. Feel free to skip. For a number of years I’ve participated as a volunteer in the Duke Reader Project. The origins of the project were to find alumni to act as critical readers of a students writing in a particular course. Last year they added blogs as part of some of the summer experiences Duke students can join.  Last year I followed a group in Durban, South Africa. It was a “so-so” experience. The students didn’t blog regularly and none replied to questions or responses from their readers.

This year I got picked to be a commentor for the The Moxie Project. (More here.)  I was encouraged by the topic (working with women’s organizations in New York City,) and by the level engagement of the sponsor, Ada Gregory.

Here was our introduction to the project:

Dear Readers,

Thanks so much for agreeing to support us by reading and responding to the student blog for DukeEngage NYC– the Moxie Project. The blogging is much more meaningful when students have a community that is following along with them, pushing them to think more deeply, and encouraging them when they need it.

Tomorrow 10 students will arrive to begin their summer in New York City. They’ll begin work first thing Monday morning with little time to adjust to the pace of the city, 9-5 work, or the challenges of the Moxie Project. Each of them crafted a pre-arrival blog that you can read now!

Each week throughout the summer, I will send you a brief note about the activities and topics we’ve been discussing and a link to the blog when new posts are up. You can expect to see about five blogs each week from different students. Some posts will be crafted in response to a particular prompt, which I will share with you. However, students are also encouraged to write about whatever might be most significant to them during that particular week.
… Please do not feel pressure to leave comments on every post. Look for posts with few responses and, of course, ones that are most interesting to you.

Let me know if you have any questions at all. Again thanks so much for helping us. It should be a great summer!

Enjoy their blogs: sites.duke.edu/moxie

Ada

This week our writers have posted their final reflective blogs and I decided to go off-script and compose a blog post TO them, reflecting on my “Moxie-at-a-distance” experience. So here goes.

Dear Moxies

I’m stealing Brianna’s method of “five things” to take a moment and share what I’ve learned and what it has meant to be to be a Moxie project reader. This is my way of thanking all of you for letting me have a peek inside of your experiences and your courage in posting your thoughts out to the world.

1. Feminism, it all its glorious (and often misunderstood) diversity is alive and well in your generation. THANK GOODNESS!

2. Life is busy, but it is very much worth taking the time for reflection.

3. Some things tie our generations together. Some things give me a sense of a chasm.

4. Reading about sex still makes me squirm.

5. We can/must/won’t ever stop learning.





From the Archives: Reason, Purpose and Getting to the NUBBINS!

Close up of a piece of driftwood on the beach that appears to have a face on it.
What do we see when we look in new ways?

This draft post from 2013 was worth my time to go revisit and read the three blog posts in the list below (two from 2006, one from 2013, one re-found via the Wayback Machine/Internet Archivedonate!) I’ve decided to pluck one thing from each list and comment on it below (in italics). These three lists, these three BLOG POSTS still open up new vistas for me. For you?


I am not a fan of lists, but I appreciate the value of the form. What I really dig is when the lists open up a new vista or light up a light for me.

  • Half an Hour: Things You Really Need to Learn, Stephen Downes, 2006  
    • Stephen’s post still rings true, and one of his bullet points relates to a conversation-in-comments that Alan Levine, Ton Zylstra and I have been having in a recent post of mind about what we pay attention to and how we pay attention. #3, How to Read and #10, How to Live Meaningfully seen particularly salient and poignant in our times where consumerism meets climate change meets pandemic meets threats of war. What matters. I know I want to pay more attention to what matters. And WHAT MATTERS. 
  • Ten Things to Learn This School Year 2006 Guy Kawasaki (Via the Wayback Machine)
    • I agree with Stephan that Guy’s list is more about how to succeed in business. It doesn’t inspire. But I have to chuckle when I see #2, How to Survive a Poorly Run Meeting and #3, How to Run a Meeting. We really don’t learn, do we. Why is this still an issue? Oi!
  • How to Create Your Reason by Umair Haque, 2013
    • Umair is regularly thought provoking and this is no exception. Plucking one from his list is as hard as plucking two from Stephens, but I’m going to hit one that has resonance for me, right now, as I reexamine my work/life. Radical Simplicity. What can I/we stop doing, right now, to make space for what matters? Creative destruction, my friends, is a super power.